Because unless you, too, were trying to rid your kitchen pantry of
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| THIS GUY |
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| OR THIS GUY |
or the millions of friends and family they called up with their mobile-to-mobile phone plan and asked to join them in a quest to rule the world one pantry at a time starting with mine . . .
then I win.
I already got my race medal award on Saturday, so I will accept any of the following in lieu of recognition for my efforts:
a) A dollar for every Indian meal moth, Indian meal moth larva, and Indian meal moth egg found in said pantry.
b) A dollar for every particle of food I threw away.
c) A dollar for every spot of 409 Antibacterial Kitchen cleaner sprayed.
d) A dollar for every time I threw up in my mouth.
e) If you don't have any dollars to give me, then I will also accept Consolation Quarters. Or Didn't-know-you-were-such-a-baby Dimes. Or at the very least, Pity Pennies. (Couldn't come up with a clever name for nickels. So you can give me No Name Nickels.)
The only exemptions I will allow as "Real Winners" in this pity competition are starving children in Africa, patients recovering from recent brain surgery (love you, Uncle Mike), Hugo Chavez's mother, my neighbor Megan who borrows stuff from the pantry on a regular basis, and Martin Short in that movie about lots of unlucky things happening to him.
Sorry, Megan. I'm pretty sure all of the things you borrowed were larva-free. If it makes you feel any better, I have the cleanest pantry in the world right now.
4 comments:
YIKES! You win! however, I have so many papers to grade and I'm blog stalking...zero motivation is killing me!
Sorry girl! Let's Turbo Kick it out tonight!
oh. my. goodness. You win. And I'm not worried about the things I borrow...really, it's my fault that I don't ever have anything on hand. I do have a good one from last night. Ephraim told me he woke up in the middle of the night with things crawling on him and then woke up this morning with spider bites. Gross. The bug man is coming tomorrow afternoon.
I would jump in and compete for the pity pennies (I have accomplished some biggies this week with, not only no one cheering, but no one even home during the the events), but your experience is too well told to even compete with it - and you. Moths, worms, and eggs in the pantry: so wrong. Melissa's telling: almost worth it. Almost. ;-D
Keep it up, girl! Your award's in the mail! (okay, it's not really. But I'm thinking riches in your behalf...) You never cease to amaze. ♥
After stopping by your house and hearing your story, there is no mercy on every moth that I see. I told the boys that we must kill EVERY one that we see! Sounds harsh (for a second), but not after your story. So sorry you had to deal with that!
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